Song of Songs 2:1-7

He said, "Come over soon."
She said, "No, thank you."

He went to the gym.
She bought lingerie with friends.

Moist Vagina by Nirvana


She had a moist vagina
I particularly enjoy the circumference
I've been sucking the walls of her anus
Marijuana
I prefered her to any other
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana

All Apologies  by  Nirvana

What else should I be
All apologies
What else should I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
I'm married
buried

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezeburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy
All in all is we all are (All alone?)

Nirvana - Rape Me lyrics

Rape me, my friend
Rape me, rape me again
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one

Hate me
Do it and do it Again
Waste me
Rape me my friend
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
Appreciate your concern
You'll always stink and burn

Rape me
Rape my friend
Rape me
Rape me again

I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one

Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me
Rape me

I found heaven. It was not where I once believed it to be. It is warmer, sweatier and the music is good. The men are Jewish in heaven, too. They hold you as you sleep and whenever you want to ride one you can just hop on. The Jews like sex a lot in heaven. There are jellybeans and pot brownies in heaven and the apartment is always messy but there are regular moments of solitude in heaven and things can get very clean.

Diamonds.
Chocolate.
Coffee.
Mexican food.
Call from mom.
Call from dad.
Mailed birthday from a nice family.
Homemade card from girl.
Date with boy.
Visit with old friends.

Now that's what I call a nice birthday (eventhough the diamonds are in my dreams).

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

Invocation
© by Night Hawke

primordial ribbons of infinity
pass from the point solitaire
of boundless mass
where once shades of twilight
snuggled within
that tiny elemental bomb
to an explosive kiss
hurled cross time un-ending
through space vast
eternal distance swelling
between shades of twilight
resounding harmonics
brought us once again
into a twilight kiss
brought us once again

until resounding harmonics
between shades of twilight
eternal distance swelling
through space vast
hurled cross time un-ending
to an explosive kiss
that tiny elemental bomb
snuggled within
where once shades of twilight
of boundless mass
pass from the point solitaire

primordial ribbons of infinity

Notes on Invocation

This is a slightly different approach to the notion of soul mates. The conventional mystical paradigm goes something like this;

A soul, which exists separately from physical bodies, is created and split in two and each half sent to dwell in a man's body and a woman's body until they meet and fall in love, etc. etc. etc.

Invocation looks at this from the conventional paradigm of a physicist. The universe once existed as a single point. All the matter of the universe -- including the matter that comprises you and I, existed within an extremely dense sphere possibly as small as a pinhead.

It is at this point that physics breaks down. Laws make no sense any more. The universe begins to resemble nothing more than a great thought -- or, as I prefer to think of it -- a song.

Within Invocation the lovers exist within this tiny sphere -- 'the elemental bomb' -- snuggled together, they are nothing more than twilight, until they 'kiss' which is the spark, the passion, that ignites the big bang and ultimately ignites the universe spreading out from infinitely small to infinitely vast.

In the process the lovers are obviously separated, until after eons and eons they are finally configured in a form that comprises the essence of themselves as they existed within the primordial stew, at which time they meet, fall in love, and enjoy another twilight kiss.

Entropy wins however, and the lovers cannot remain configured (they die) and dissolve once again into atoms and energy scattered across a cosmos that now is contracting to the big crunch -- the point in time when all matter will reconvene at a single point -- when they will again re-unite, kiss, and the process begins again.

http://www.geocities.com/nighthawke700/oikosfriendship.htm

SYSTEMS, LOVE AND CHILDHOOD

By Matt Johns

A human being is part of the Whole...He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest...a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security. - Albert Einstein



All theory is gray, and the Golden tree of life is green.

- Goethe

Adults are just obsolete children.

- Dr. Seuss

This essay is my attempt to use what I've learned about the concepts of the title - systems, love and childhood - to help plot a cultural path towards valuing childhood in a deeply authentic way, the same authentic way that is a child's way of being in the world. In doing so I follow many people who have used their considerable talents to bring a centered wisdom to our Western traditions, a tradition that has championed the ego and the intellect to dizzying disproportion. People like cyberneticist Norbert Wiener, who warned people like me "the social sciences are a bad proving ground for the ideas of cybernetics." People like Fritjof Capra, who has said of our global social and environmental problems in The Web Of Life, "Ultimately these problems …derive from the fact that most of us, and especially our large social institutions, subscribe to an outdated worldview, a perception of reality inadequate for dealing with our interconnected world." And to people like Gregory Bateson, Joanna Macy, Linda Olds, and David Whyte.

But First Let's Start With A Real Child

Raimon Panikkar has said

"When I have a human being before me, it is the whole reality that is before me, and I must then reunite the vision of man to that of the divine and the cosmos… which is something for which we do not yet have an adequate language."

A child, a young boy, is before us. He is slim; he stands about 4 feet 8 inches. His hair is short in the style of young men today. Gustavo (not his name) looks you over warily, his eyes down, his head cocked to the side. It has been Gustavo's experience that human beings, at least the ones you love, are transitory, combustible, fragile. He has seen rage, madness, self-destruction and neglect. Physical abuse and emotional abuse. It's not something he disowns; it's part of the fabric of his life. Somehow, through some innate genius and the ability to see love even under deep camouflage, Gustavo has retained a hundred-watt smile, a mischievous playful streak, and an ability to love. He likes movies, McDonald's and basketball. But if he feels he is being picked on, he releases a rage that empties classrooms and intimidates foster parents.

When I am with Gustavo on a weekend outing, I am not thinking about systems theory and how it could provide an overarching metaphor that foregrounds and values relationship, that makes clear the interrelatedness of all beings. I'm just enjoying the connection between us. Love is the state of being human where we know we are connected and interrelated into a Whole. And even though part of our journey is through an intellectual understanding of what this Whole might be, we must not fail to understand the Goethe quote that introduces this essay. A theory is merely a path, and life surrounds it.

Living in connection means love is plentiful, ubiquitous, and if one person fails to love a child, ten more will take his place.

Systemic Causes

In my roles as high school science teacher and child advocate I see many teachers, parents, grandparents, foster parents and other caregivers doing wonderful jobs with young people, and in the larger picture I see poverty, drugs, violence and abuse take its toll. We're not sure how it got this bad when everybody seems to be doing the best they can. We blame ourselves but it's more likely the cause is systemic - based in the nature of the interrelationships of the parts of the system.

Whenever causes and effects are widely spread so that it is difficult to track what is creating what, it is a hint that you are dealing with a complex system. Let's start by admitting that systems scientists, despite advances over the past fifty years, are not able to describe systems as complex as an entire family system, let alone a social system. But systems theory has been able to describe the general characteristics of complex systems, and this information is full of poignant insights into both why these systems behave the way they do and why our efforts to produce effective change so often fail. Even with our love and our best efforts.

And what about love? How does love fit in with a highly abstract concept like systems theory? Why did I formulate the question the way I did? Perhaps it is just such abdications - that human love should fit into a theory - which has placed us in our current situation where technology leads and we follow. We seem strangely willing to surrender our decisions to the tools we have created while maintaining the illusion that we are in control. In the era of the emergence of AI, this is a dangerous time to feel less capable than our technology. Love is what children need as a basic staple, and so half the time, 75% of the time, or even 98% of the time is just not good enough. Even with our technology growing by leaps and bounds, it will probably be awhile before we build one that can really love.





What is systems theory?

First proposed in the 1940s by biologist Ludwig von Betalanffy, it is an attempt to correct the errors of reductionism, the scientific philosophy and procedure that said to understand something you break it down into its component parts and study the parts. The Principia Cybernetica Project defines systems theory as

"the transdisciplinary study of the abstract organization of phenomena, independent of heir substance, type, or spatial or temporal scale of existence. It investigates both the principles common to all complex entities, and the (usually mathematical) models which can be used to describe them. Systems theory focuses on the relationships between the parts that connect them into a whole. This particular organization determines a system, which is independent of the concrete substance of the parts (people, organs, cells, atoms, particles, etc.)

All complex systems exhibit five basic properties, which themselves are interrelated:

SYNERGY The whole is greater than the sum of the parts

NESTED HEIRARCHIES Individuals within families within communities, etc.

SELF-STABILIZATION Feedback loops help maintain system at a steady state

SELF-GENERATION Capacity of a system to reproduce itself

EQUIFINALITY Going toward an end state

Systems theory marked a turning of the tide in scientific thought. We had gone as far as we could go with analytical techniques and the vision of the cosmos as a large machine. We had created automation and designed corporations and factories to run like machines. We had designed huge beaurocracies that included hundreds of millions of people. Now our analytic science has led us to discoveries in physics, chemistry, biology and sociology that bring us back to thinking of ourselves and our world as a whole. Fritjof Capra writes, "The universe can no longer be seen as a machine, made up of a multitude of objects, but has to be pictured as one indivisible dynamic whole whose parts are essentially interrelated and can be understood only as patterns of cosmic processes."

Systems Thinking: Can It Help Children?

Systems thinking is putting these new concepts and metaphors to use in the way we think, feel and act in the world, in how we experience our lives and the lives of others. It is not the domain of scientists. Martin Luther King was a systems thinker when he wrote, "All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever effects one directly, effects all indirectly." If we treat systems thinking as a purely intellectual endeavor, we will merely be replacing one theory with another, and no succor will result from our use of the words holistic, organic, ecological; on the contrary they will elicit pain and remind us of another betrayal. So while systems thinking might be an interesting idea for adults, nothing less than systems being will be of any interest to children and youth.

When we neglect or abuse a few children, it effects all children. We live in a delicate balance. A nation of systems beings would be able to find human ways to connect large numbers of humans in complex interaction without the pattern of oppression. They would be able to see the whole and the individual and would not try to suppress either. Adept systems beings would be able to shift their focus to different levels of the system and see where small actions at leverage points might bring beneficial balance and change.

Systems thinking by itself is not enough. Children really have no use for disembodied intellect. They sense that something essential has been stripped away from the human. And to really deliver on all the wonderful benefits systems thinking has been linked with - ecological wisdom to social harmony -it would be better to look deeper into our nature. The world children want is not an abstract world, it is not a theoretical world, but a diverse, richly textured world, a world of the body and senses and mind. It is the world we adults want also, but we may need children to lead us to it.



Children Are Authenticity Indicators

One area where children are our leaders is in their genius for authenticity. If we could let ourselves be guided by their reactions and intuitions to our inventions, we could avoid our upcoming impasse with technology. Children know how you feel about them, and they know how they feel about you. This has very real benefits. It brings out the truth, or at least encourages people drop the performance of the human. Children have a problem with not applying their values to what they do, something we do our best to socialize out of them. But if you really want to create a healthy, connected world, this becomes a huge asset. Children ask incessant, insightful questions about life, about our lives. We usually get angry with them when they hit a sore spot. We should be thanking them for pointing it out.

Currently we spend a lot of energy convincing children that their deepest intuitions are unrealistic and we get very serious about preparing them for the "real world" we have prepared for them. But if we are serious about making a better world, we have to change our relationship to childhood. In a world of interrelatedness, children are teachers as much as learners. And if we want to learn about childhood, we have experts in the house.

http://www.pendragonunlimited.com/BUTTERFLY/SYSTEMS%20-%20Matt%203.htm

No, I'm not keeping an online journal. I am simply sharing one moment of mad humaness for all my earthling brother and sisters because eventhough I am often soft spoken, jovial and outgoing I am all the while a transparient sensitive and must admit to these things to remain honest.

Oh. The horror! I'm still the dramatic me. I have tried to remain silent but I can't because there is this human element of drunkenness, hunger, and desire that I feel compelled to immediately convey to those that stalk me on the WWW.

I must tell you, now about everything!

I have drunk a bottle of wine while shopping online for groceries. I have smoked too many Dunhill International Light cigarettes (only because I am abstaining from chronic--I don't know why, I don't know why) and all of this was done while watching the PBS news. The fucking news. I have abstained from the news for years. I think the last time I watched the news was 9/11 for just 2 seconds--wait I'm mistaken, I did watch the news one morning in bed with my lover but that should not count as an aware moment of watching the news because in reality I was simply observing the natural state of the beast I was loving.

Anyway tonight that same love is away and I have reached a peak of desperate loneliness that I fear must be shared so others may know that this happens to all of us. We all become desperate and anxious over someone. Yet, I remain so detached it impresses me. Just yesterday I told wrote this love a letter that we should stop all this bliss he and I have shared so it will forever in our minds be remembered as bliss. He will recieve this letter tomorrow or Monday in his mail I'm certain he wll appreciate the sentiment and ignore all physical application of the told sentiment.

Not once, never in my existence have I not relished an affair as this golden one. This affair I want to remain perfect for all my days because it was the most sensual, honest, loving experience I have ever encountered. I think it takes much awareness for me to see that this romance has been an ideal dream come true and I must force myself awake before the inevitable occurs. The inevitable is that he and I will become lost and will have to face the challenge of finding ourselves again while remaining together and that is the challenge I am anxious regarding.

I am fine when I am lost if I am lost alone. But the humiliation of being lost and in love is something I am not prepared to participate in.

For all of you. I have learned one thing about love that is a lesson learned after much hardship. Please try to believe me that if you fall in love you will eventually become lost and the only success in love is the ability to find yourself while remaining in love.

That is all I have to give.
That is all I have to give.

Tomorrow is another day. I have work, play and the reality that a letter was sent in today’s mail declining everything I want. I decline everything I want because I am ashamed that someday I will be lost while being in love.

I hope these drunken rants make sense tomorrow because I won't delete them. They are out there forever so I always remember how much I was in love tonight. Tonight I had a love that was away and I missed him like a sailor misses the sea. My heart has known such bloody richness. I am amazed that I am still without wrinkles at 27. This day next week I will be 28. I am amazed at the youth of my years. I am amazed at the lengths I have expanded in love.

I'm so in love.

That is why I smoke cigarettes--suicidal tendencies.

Shit. Even James Hollan can’t come out to play to save me. Some planetary alignment is going on affecting an entire breed of humans. I'm going to call James. No. Yes. Should one ought to call a hard working man when one is so sincerely off her rocker as I, tonight?

Shit. Cigarette just don't do the trick. My sweet James has a bed calling his name. I like the visual of it. I like the visual of it. It calms me. It calls me to my bed. Rest assured that sleep is healing. Sleep well.

A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE...
from 69 Love Songs
by the Magnetic Fields

A pretty girl is like a minstrel show
It makes you laugh
It makes you cry
You go
It just isn't the same on radio
It's all about the makeup and the dancing
and the Oh,
a pretty girl is like a violent crime
If you do it wrong
you could do time
but if you do it right it is sublime
I'm
so in love with you, girl,
It's like I'm on the moon
I can't really breathe, but I feel lighter
A melody is like
a pretty girl
Who cares if it's the dumbest in the world
It's all about the way that it
unfurls
A pretty girl is like
a pretty girl

HOW FUCKING ROMANTIC
from 69 Love Songs
by the Magnetic Fields


How fucking romantic All the stars are out twinkling twinkling twinkling
and fluttering about What a tacky sunset What a vulgar moon
Play another charming Rodgers & Hart tune How fucking romantic
Must we really waltz Drag another cliche howling from the vaults
Love you, obviously, like you really care, even though you treat me
like a dancing bear Toss your bear a goldfish as it cycles by
Don't forget to feed your bear or it'll die

THE BOOK OF LOVE
from 69 Love Songs
by the Magnetic Fields

The book of love is long and boring No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
but I I love it when you read to me and you you can read me anything
The book of love has music in it In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental Some of it is just really dumb but I
I love it when you sing to me and you you can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring and written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes and things we're all
too young to know but I I love it when you give me things and you
you ought to give me wedding rings I I love it when you give me things
and you you ought to give me wedding rings

 My Baby Just Cares for Me
  (1928) Gus Kahn, Walter Donaldson
   
  My baby don't care for shows
My baby don't care for clothes
My baby just cares for me
My baby don't care for cars and races
My baby don't care for high-tone places
Liz Taylor is not his style
And even Lana Turner's smile
Is somethin' he can't see
My baby don't care who knows
My baby just cares for me
Baby, my baby don't care for shows
And he don't even care for clothes
He cares for me
My baby don't care
For cars and races
My baby don't care for
He don't care for high-tone places
Liz Taylor is not his style
And even Liberace's smile
Is something he can't see
Is something he can't see
I wonder what's wrong with baby
My baby just cares for
My baby just cares for
My baby just cares for me
Original lyrics
My baby don't care for shows
My baby don't care for clothes
My baby just cares for me
My baby don't care for cars and races
My baby don't care for high-tone places
Liz Taylor is not his style
And even Lana Turner's smile
is somethin' he can't see
My baby don't care who knows it
My baby just cares for me
My baby don't care for shows
And he don't even care for clothes
My baby just cares for me
My baby don't care for cars and races
My baby don't care for
he don't care for high-tone places
I wonder what's wrong with baby
My baby just cares for
Just says his prayers for
My baby just cares for me
 

THE ROOTS (f/ Music Soulchild) LYRICS

Break You Off


[Chorus x2: Musiq]
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
Yeah Baby

[Verse One: Black Thought]
Bad Misses, Throwin raspberry kisses on me
You looking for directions?
Girl I feel your vision on me
Just dont let him see you sweat
and we aint spose to be involved
Knowing when we get it off, Girl I mean it off
Keeping you fiending 'til you taking it tossed
And when I'm breaking it off
Its no denying the fact it's wrong
'Cause you got a man who's probably playing his part
You probably breaking his heart
He trying to figure the reason, Uh
Is it because he's superficial
Or is he too submissive
Or did I come along and hit you with the futuristic
Or is it 'cause you really couldnt see a future with him
All he about is paper, never took the time with you to listen
You want it gripped up, flipped, and thrown
And get stripped and shown, the way the getting is on
The cost, dealing with this you only taking a loss
You need to leave him alone
And go with the one who breaking you off

[Chorus x2: Musiq]
Off...
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
Yeah Baby

[Verse Two: Black Thought]
Rolling down the highway
Listening to Sade sing
"The way the smooth operator move my way"
You sitting beside me
Looking like Friday Foster
Pam Grier structure look at your body
Keep eachother thristy
Kisses like hershey
But lips is sealed
'Cause we dont need the controversy
I say I'm in town, You say you want it in the worst way
You probably told your man it was your it was ya lil's birthday
Meanwhile, Its champagne chilling in ice
You ready for the freakiest stage you done in ya life?
We breakin down like we grove dogs pulling a hike
You making sounds like a vive ;got you reaching your height
Prepare for flight, this is your captain
I'm getting strapped in
Theres no denying the strength
That its attraction girl
Workin with this you won't be taking a loss
So stop fooling your man and roll with the one
Who's breaking you off

(beat started)

[Bridge: Musiq]
Baby, Baby, Baby... don't you want me 'round
Nothing 'cause I'm coming too, and do you know..
Whenever you want, that thing you need, I got it
I'm there and I aim to please
I'm coming over to give it to you..
Baby.. baby..

[Chorus x2: Musiq]
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
I'm coming to break you off (get the beat started......start-started)
Yeah Baby

Carol Kane really does talk like that. She was in the Library for hours today talking squeeky and deep and high within one breath. She's so cool. I'm glad I got to speak to her.

Smother Love
by Crass

The true romance is the ideal repression
That you seek, that you dream of, that you look for in the streets
That you find in the magazines, the cinema, the glossy shops
And the music spins you round and round looking for the props
The silken robe, the perfect little ring
Will give you the illusion when it doesn't mean a thing
Step outside into the street and staring from the wall
Is perfection of the happiness that makes you feel so small
Romance, can you dance? D'you fit the right description?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you want me for your own?
Do you love me, say you need me
So you know that I'm the one
Tell me I'm your everything, let us build a home
We can build a house for two, with little ones to follow
The proof of our normality that justifies tomorrow
Romance, romance
Do you love me? Say you do
We can leave the world behind and make it just for two
Love don't make the world go round, it holds it right in place
Keeps us thinking love's too pure to see another face
Love's another skin-trap, another social weapon
Another way to make men slaves and women at their beckon
Love's another sterile gift, another shit condition
That keeps us seeing just the one and others not existing
Woman in a holy myth, a gift of mans expression
She's sweet, defenceless, golden-eyed, a gift of gods repression
If we didn't have these codes for love, of tokens and positions
We'd find ourselves as lovers still, not tokens of possessions
It's a natural, it's a romance, without the power and greed
We can fight to life the cover if you want to sow a seed
Do you love me? Do you? Do you? Don't you see they aim to smother
The actual possibilities of seeing all the others?